His & Hers Survival Guide To IVF

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Have you ever wished you had a couple of really close, wise friends who had already been through the IVF process and could tell you EVERYTHING you needed to know and with warmth, honesty and a little humour?

AND had a top-notch consultant give his words of wisdom at the end of every stage too?

Well, Get A Life by Rosie Bray and Richard Mackney is it!

As Rosie and Richard say “Our aim is to help relieve the stress of IVF, to tell you what you will actually go through, how to deal with it and try to help you find a way to get through the process intact and with a successful outcome. We can’t guarantee you will have a baby at the end of this book, but we promise we’ll help you to survive the process”.

What really makes this different from many other IVF books is that each chapter has sections written by both Rosie and Richard.

And let’s be honest, men can be a little forgotten about during the IVF process as their part is technically over in a few minutes and it’s the woman who has to go through the blood tests, scans, drugs and medical procedures.

But this is a process that each couple goes through together and to read Richard’s thoughts and experiences on each stage of the process is invaluable and certainly something that any man reading this would identify with and take heart from.

“For the man, at this stage, the GP will simply require a sperm test.  And that’s how the GP will say it to you, simply a sperm test. That’s probably because they’ve never had to do one before. And if you haven’t either, you need advice on this, my friend – trust me – as they won’t give it you.”

I’ve read many books on the IVF process – what happens when it doesn’t work and what happens when it does but never have I read one that describes the whole journey.

From trying to conceive, the realisation that some medical help may be needed to the first GP appointment, the results and stage of IVF.  And chapter 7 is really one that all male partners should read and take note of an excellent piece of advice that came about through a difficult experience!.

Rosie and Richard share what happens when it doesn’t work, happens when a miscarriage occurs and  finally what happens when it does work with the most wonderful result (and I’m not spoiling anything by saying that!)   It’s easy to imagine having a drink with either of them as they tell you everything they’ve shared in the book – their openness makes this book what it is.

A book to make you feel less alone on your IVF journey.

“As a good fellow infertile friend once said, ‘We are but foot soldiers in the war on infertility’. And often it really does feel like a war; only those who’ve been through it can know the true extent of the battle scars…

Partly the reason for writing this book is to reach out to others going through the same thing and say ‘I know how you feel.  And it’s bloody awful’. There are no guarantees and nothing I can really say to make it better, but only that I know how you feel and I really truly empathise.”

Rosie and Richard share what they wish they’d have known at the start of their journey.  It’s possible that not all of these things will work for you but it’s incredibly helpful to have someone guide you through their own highs and lows and what they would have done differently if they’d known then what they know now.

If you want to read a book written by people who have been there, done that and most definitely got the t-shirt and can make the process feel a little less scary and isolating, I can’t recommend this book enough.  You can find it here on Amazon.
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